I slowly woke up in stages, like surly handmaiden filling a wineglass with a thimble. I had intended to get up early, as my grandmother always said “revenge never rests”. Revenge was the nickname my grandmother gave to a local warrior who took an awl pike through the brain fighting in Sandow and somehow lived. My grandmother was a strange woman. I haven’t quite adjusted to poor people time though so it was mid-morning when I got up instead.
Leaving my room I found the maidservant in the hall waiting to turn down the sheets. She gave me a dirty look so with my skilled hands I took the chintzy necklace off the fat cow without her even noticing. I don’t plan on doing a lot of random lifting but I can’t have a MAID looking down her nose at me.
Before leaving the Inn I got myself a decent breakfast. With a quick flick of the wrist I convinced the yawning chef that I had given him a gold instead of a silver and ended up with a monitor lizard egg omelette and 4 silver in “change”. Things are already starting to look up.
The first order of business was a change of clothes. I’m too conspicuous in this dress and I need some working capital. I went to three seamstresses before I found one who could give me a decent price on my gown. I tried to talk the price up but the sour-faced shrew that ran the place wouldn’t budge on the price. I had to all but beg her just to let me use her facilities to make a few alterations. I’m not sure which made my skin crawl more – pulling that common peasant dress onto my flawless skin or the thought of some Graltontown heifer wearing my dress and infesting it with her stink.
Even though I was now flush with gold I need to start getting into the habit of earning. I found a street corner on which to ply my trade. No, no THAT trade, I’d rather die than let one of these Graltontown malt-worm puttocks lay a hand on me. I have a beautiful singing voice. I had to fight back a few tears, singing for coins is barely one step above begging, but it helped to imagine that I was singing instead in the Grand Opera House of Indlecastle. Imagining Duke Eaglevane being drawn and quartered helped as well.
Mid-day I gathered up the filthy copper that had been flung at me by the slouching ill-bred beasts that inhabit Graltontown and had a sensible lunch of just an apple and a mug of mulled wine. As my grandmother said the key to living well is thrift and grift.
When I went back to my corner though I saw trouble coming my way – a group of slovenly brutes approaching. I decided it was time to retire but with low animal cunning they had surrounded me. I plastered a smile on my face like so much . . . plaster I guess.
“Greetings fair gents, you must be the local tax collectors come to take your due, how’s half sound?”
It sounded fine to them but it didn’t stop them from getting so close to me that I not only nearly gagged from the rancid odor of their flesh but could feel their rank breath hot on my face. Meanwhile not two blocks away slumped a round-shouldered watchman who didn’t spare the scene a second glance at what was transpiring.
As the rotten crew of thieves ambled away dumbly I decided before I did anything else I needed more information. I canvassed the locals for several hours and learned that I had run afoul of Piltis Swine and the Hog Boys, a 2-copper crew that claimed the area I was singing in as their “turf”. Their main source of income is abducting street-rats and orphans to put to work in their “headquarters” making candles. The guardsman was a fellow by the name of Rince Electrum. I also asked about for a local alchemist who didn’t mind making ‘special’ elixirs – you know the kind I mean – but I wasn’t able to get any information from these Graltontown roaches.
I had promised myself that I would find cheaper lodgings but with the day I had I felt I deserved the relative comfort of the Vermilion Dragoon along with a meal of goose soup, sugared turnip cakes, and candied eel tails. I did make due with a common variety wine though, for which I deserve credit. Tomorrow for sure I’ll find a more moderately priced place to stay.
Funds: 48 Gold , 7 Silver
XP: 0
Inventory: Peasant outfit (with hidden pockets) , Signet Ring , Stiletto , Cheap necklace
Revenge List: Duke Eaglevane, Piltis Swine, Rince Electrum
The Errant Endeavors of Ela the Expert 
Hidden pockets?? I am quite simply beside myself with anticipation.
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