Day: July 25, 2019

Montresor 13, Year 887 (New Imperial Calendar)

Sleeping in feels absurdly amazing.  I know I’ve said this before but if there’s one thing I will never take from granted again it’s a good night’s sleep.   I barely got up before lunch and I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest.  After a hearty lunch-breakfast and a nice Northern Icewine I sent half my crew to Bee’s to make sure everything was set up with our friend the half-orc barkeep while I took the other half with me see Rattlesnake Jack. 

We barged in on him playing grabass with one of his dancers – I love a good barge in – and I tossed the wizards staff at him. 

“Here’s your stinkin’ magic stick.  Now, I believe there’s the matter of a very generous payment?”

He took his sweet time counting out two hundred gold coins one by one, trying to get a rise out of me, but I didn’t mind in the least.  I sat with a smile on my face while this mud puddle of a human being made a big show out of how little money he was handing over – I wanted my squad to stand there and fume with anger since this was all their doing.  Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on them, they screwed up, but at least they took the initiative. That’s something right?  After he was done with his big production Jack sat back and cocked his hat like he had just bearded a dragon.  My grandmother saw a bearded dragon one time.  It’s a pretty funny story.

“Mr. Snake, it’s been a true pleasure doing business with you.  You know your place here would really be something if you did a little renovation and got some attractive women in here instead of these half-orcish sows and drowned yourself in a barrel of horse piss.”

Never let it be said that I don’t offer good advice.  After that we met up with the rest of the crew at Bee’s and learned that the meet was on for that night – Grotharar and his Unwanted buddies would be there expecting to recruit some new playmates into their little hate group.  With nothing much else to do the rest of the day I paid a visit to Bhuul the wizard.  Wizard’s usually attend to their own schedule but he didn’t keep me waiting long – he had white hair and a long white beard, his whole look screamed “wizard”.  He wasn’t even that old.  I wonder if in magic school on day one they teach you how to magic your hair white. 

I let him know that I had recovered his staff and turned it over to Rattlesnake Jack and that it was stolen at the behest of his rival wizard and I threw in there as well that the dancer from Jack’s that he was so infatuated with couldn’t care less about him and it was a love con. 

I winked “But probably your magic already told you all these things.”

He stared at me for a long while and then had his gross little homunculus-servant bring us some very mediocre tea and some very nice lemon cookies so we could have us a chat.  A few hours later he asked me why I was telling him all this. 

“Oh, I’m just the helpful type.”

I thanked him an excused myself back to Bee’s where my crew was set up in the store-room off the main common area.  I helped myself to a bottle of ten year old brandy and ducked down behind the bar.  A while later (I lost track of time a bit) I heard Grothrar and his buddies come in and start talking to the half-orcs about their organization and its many benefits – like racial motivated violence.  I stood up behind the bar. 

“Can I join?  I’m a full blooded human, but I hate everyone so it kind of works.”

The four half-elves sprang to their feet while the half-orcs quietly made themselves scarce.  I assume the one who spoke was Grotharar himself.

“Who the Hells are you?!”

“The other day you killed a couple folks.  Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things I suppose, people die every day.  But these were MY people.  If you were the honorable sort you’d send your friend away so they wouldn’t die also, but I suspect that you aren’t.  What with your secret murder society and all.”

“You?  What are you going to do?”

Right then my crew came out into the common room with their weapons drawn.  “Good work guys, you really got the timing down on that one.  Very dramatic.”

I chucked a wolverine into the fray from my Bag of Tricks and then ducked back behind the bar with my bottle.  Sounded like quite a melee indeed.  I’ve been involved in far too much violence lately.  Sounded like Grotharar and his friend were able combatants but as my grandma always used to say two against one is monkey’s fun.  Monkey’s Fun was the name of a low class establishment she worked in when she was younger you see.  Anyway, ten against four is pretty hard odds.  In the end all four half-elves were dead and I distributed my potions of healing to my wounded goons.  Not that I’m getting sentimental about the hired help, but it’s good to show them that loyalty goes both ways. 

After taking a few choice items for myself I gave the rest of the loot to the half-orcs – it was only for since they would get rid of the bodies and they had a lot of blood to clean up.  Once it was all over we paid a late night visit to Grotharar’s second in command Bala Ged.  Using my Skeleton Key we stole into his house unawares and dumped his floozy out of bed to the floor – nothing like making an entrance.

“Good news Bala Ged, Grotharar is dead, which makes you the leader of your little gang now.  Congratulations!”

He stared at me in terror as the woman got up off the floor “Actually, I’m Bala Ged.”

“So sorry my dear, I just assumed the criminal gangboss would be a man.”

“That’s somewhat ironic don’t you think?”

“I don’t take your meaning.”

“Nevermind.  So Grotharar is dead eh?  Thanks for telling me I suppose, and why is it that you’re here?”

“I thought a little appreciation might be in order.  You know, for the effort.”

“You want a reward of some kind for killing my boss?”

“Isn’t that what everyone dreams of?” I glanced at my crew “Not you guys of course, but people with bad bosses.”

We were able to make a deal.  Grotharar had been stockpiling weapons for his envisioned uprising, weapons that Bala Ged didn’t have any use for – ergo they’d be coming back to Graltonton with me when we leave.  A bit thin if you ask me, but as I’ve said many times people have no sense of gratitude anymore. 

____________________________________________________________

Funds: 7,580 gold

XP: 44,738

Inventory: Ring of Many Garments, Bag of Tricks (rust), Cap of Disguise, Secure Pocket, Resplendent Diplomat’s Palette, Secure Paypack, Skeleton Key, Brooch of Shielding, Pouch of Magic Stones, Masterful Grey Gloves, Black Marketers’ Bag, Biting Bracelet (Endless Ammunition), Boots of Escape, Bracers of the Glib Entertainer, Ring of Animal Friendship, +1 Falchion, +1 Greatclub, +2 Commanding Light Crossbow, Headband of Alluring Charisma +2  

Signet ring, noble’s outfit, candlerod (9), masterwork dagger, succubi carving, Domiel family ring, walking stick, masterwork playing cards, spinel and peridot holy symbol of Kralten, diamonds (14), silver crown

Potion of Invisibility (3), Potion of Spider Climb, Potion of Eagle’s Splendor

Silver ring, gold bracelet, gold and pearl pendant, gold ring, platinum necklace, mithril hair clasps (3)

Revenge List: Duke Eaglevane, Piltis Swine, Rince Electrum, watchman Gridley, White-Muzzle the worg, Percy Ringle the butler , Alice Kinsey , “Patch”, Heroes of the Lost Sword, Claire Conrad, Erist priest of Strider, Riselda owner of the Sage Mirror, Eedraxis,  Skin-Taker tribe, Kartak, Królewna & Bonifacja Trading Company, Hurmont Family, Androni Titus, Greasy dreadlocks woman, Lodestone Security, Kellgale Nickoslander, Beltian Kruin the Splithog Pauper, The King of Spiders, Auraluna Domiel, mother Hurk, Mazzmus Parmalee

Rumors : Exiled noblewoman (Reoccurring), vigilante “Litheria”(Reoccurring), murderous Halfling (Reoccurring)

Teams – Labors, Brute Squad (Robbers and one team of Soldiers)

Graltontown Buildings – Mill 

Montresor 12, Year 887 (New Imperial Calendar)

This morning at the Saber Berny and Oney informed me that last night around nine o’clock our friend the mage got a visit from a young woman who handed him a small packet in return for a handful of coins.  Sounds like a drug deal to me.  Not only that but Oney had taken the initiative to follow the girl, although she had disappeared into a part of town known as the Labyrinth – on account of the fact that like many slums it was basically a maze.  Nevertheless I made sure to praise his quick thinking – and by quick thinking I mean very basic common sense. 

Generally speaking there are two kinds of drug dealers – the cut your throat for a silver kind and the ones who realize that screwing over your own customers isn’t necessarily a great idea if they want to stay in business.  Strangely there seem to be a lot more of the first kind than the second.  I suppose if you’re smart enough to understand the concept of customer loyalty you probably don’t get mixed up with the drug trade. 

Going into the Labyrinth isn’t something I was excited about so I had my people stake out the common thoroughfares to pick her up coming out – poor people can be a but clannish when it comes to outsiders.  It was easy enough to tail her to a bar simply named “Bee’s” and we burst in just as she was making a deal with a half-orc behind the bar.  I love a good burst in.  One wall was lined with crates and there was a gaming table pushed to one side.

“Oh no, it’s the watch!”

The half-orc reached for a blade but seeing that he was outnumbered gave the girl a bitter look and dropped it.  Her name was Red, and as it turns out she’s the first kind of drug dealer – I’m a pretty good judge of character and she had no issue with adding a little something extra to the mage’s Keif order that night.  A few more goons came into the bar as we were finishing up the deal but the half-orc waved them off.  

“Say boys. As long as you’re here what can you tell me about Grotharar?”

I didn’t expect much but it never hurts to ask right?  Turns out though that they did have one interesting tidbit about our local half-half crimeboss.  In addition to his crew he was also trying to get together a “secret society” of half-elves and half-orcs that he called “The Unwanted” which as you could probably guess was a hate group he wanted to use to “strike back” at the society that rejected them.  So far most people laughed him off and his group consisted just of a half-elf by the name of Quinna and this two moronic cousins. 

I asked the half-orc and his friends if they’d be willing to get in touch with Gotharar and tell him they had changed their minds about joining his little support group.  They were understandably suspicious.

“Why?”

“He murdered a couple of my friends.  So I was thinking about slitting his throat for him.”

Their grins told me what esteem this fellow had garnered with his fellow half-breeds.  Have you ever noticed that there are no half-dwarfs?  I wonder why that is.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that humans will have sex with anything.  I mean a half-dragon?  How does that even work?  I’m pretty sure a freak show they brought to court one time had a half-lizardman.  Why?  Just why?

I took several hours to make sure my Heresia disguise was flawless and from there on out things went smoothly.  Christops was delighted and surprised when “Heresia” showed up on his doorstep late at night and quickly dismissed his guards so “they” could have some private time.  What a great fool.  Once he was sleep I poured some oil of taggit down his gullet to make sure he stayed that way and I opened the trap door which lead to an actual staircase down into the “vault”.  This is a man who invest in his enterprise.

I didn’t expect that the staff would still be down there but indeed it was, along with a few other items I helped myself too.  An angry mage didn’t teleport in and incinerate me so Red must have kept her word.  I do like a turncoat that stays bribed at least long enough to betray you later.  My Skeleton Key came in handy opening a chest that had several gems in in as well as a silver tiara.  After grabbing the loot is was as simple as heading back up the stairs, shutting the trap door and leaving. 

Heresia doesn’t seem like the type to stay for breakfast – got to stay in character.

____________________________________________________________

Funds: 7,580 gold

XP: 41,808

Inventory: Ring of Many Garments, Bag of Tricks (rust), Cap of Disguise, Secure Pocket, Resplendent Diplomat’s Palette, Secure Paypack, Skeleton Key, Brooch of Shielding, Pouch of Magic Stones, Masterful Grey Gloves, Black Marketers’ Bag, Biting Bracelet (Endless Ammunition), Boots of Escape, Bracers of the Glib Entertainer, Ring of Animal Friendship, +1 Falchion, +1 Greatclub, +2 Commanding Light Crossbow   

Signet ring, noble’s outfit, candlerod (9), masterwork dagger, succubi carving, Domiel family ring, walking stick, masterwork playing cards, spinel and peridot holy symbol of Kralten, diamonds (14), silver crown

Potion of Invisibility (3), Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds (2), Potion of Cure Light Wounds (3), Potion of Spider Climb

Silver ring, gold bracelet, gold and pearl pendant, gold ring, platinum necklace, mithril hair clasps (3)

Revenge List: Duke Eaglevane, Piltis Swine, Rince Electrum, watchman Gridley, White-Muzzle the worg, Percy Ringle the butler , Alice Kinsey , “Patch”, Heroes of the Lost Sword, Claire Conrad, Erist priest of Strider, Riselda owner of the Sage Mirror, Eedraxis,  Skin-Taker tribe, Kartak, Królewna & Bonifacja Trading Company, Hurmont Family, Androni Titus, Greasy dreadlocks woman, Lodestone Security, Kellgale Nickoslander, Beltian Kruin the Splithog Pauper, The King of Spiders, Auraluna Domiel, mother Hurk, Mazzmus Parmalee

Rumors : Exiled noblewoman (Reoccurring), vigilante “Litheria”(Reoccurring), murderous Halfling (Reoccurring)

Teams – Labors, Brute Squad (Robbers and one team of Soldiers)

Graltontown Buildings – Mill 

Behind the curtain – Ela hit level seven making her Expert 2/Rogue 5 (Phantom Thief) I probably should retrain the expert levels but I don’t like retraining conceptually.  It seems like cheating somehow.  I mentioned before I thought her BAB was too high but she’s level seven and hasn’t even cracked 20 hit points yet so that clearly puts her in the non-combatant category which I like.  I chose Disguise as the next skill for the archetype bonus. I took Extra Rogue Talent for the feat and Mockingbird, vigilante social talent, allowed with the archetype as well.