Sleeping in feels absurdly amazing. I know I’ve said this before but if there’s one thing I will never take from granted again it’s a good night’s sleep. I barely got up before lunch and I don’t feel bad about that in the slightest. After a hearty lunch-breakfast and a nice Northern Icewine I sent half my crew to Bee’s to make sure everything was set up with our friend the half-orc barkeep while I took the other half with me see Rattlesnake Jack.
We barged in on him playing grabass with one of his dancers – I love a good barge in – and I tossed the wizards staff at him.
“Here’s your stinkin’ magic stick. Now, I believe there’s the matter of a very generous payment?”
He took his sweet time counting out two hundred gold coins one by one, trying to get a rise out of me, but I didn’t mind in the least. I sat with a smile on my face while this mud puddle of a human being made a big show out of how little money he was handing over – I wanted my squad to stand there and fume with anger since this was all their doing. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on them, they screwed up, but at least they took the initiative. That’s something right? After he was done with his big production Jack sat back and cocked his hat like he had just bearded a dragon. My grandmother saw a bearded dragon one time. It’s a pretty funny story.
“Mr. Snake, it’s been a true pleasure doing business with you. You know your place here would really be something if you did a little renovation and got some attractive women in here instead of these half-orcish sows and drowned yourself in a barrel of horse piss.”
Never let it be said that I don’t offer good advice. After that we met up with the rest of the crew at Bee’s and learned that the meet was on for that night – Grotharar and his Unwanted buddies would be there expecting to recruit some new playmates into their little hate group. With nothing much else to do the rest of the day I paid a visit to Bhuul the wizard. Wizard’s usually attend to their own schedule but he didn’t keep me waiting long – he had white hair and a long white beard, his whole look screamed “wizard”. He wasn’t even that old. I wonder if in magic school on day one they teach you how to magic your hair white.
I let him know that I had recovered his staff and turned it over to Rattlesnake Jack and that it was stolen at the behest of his rival wizard and I threw in there as well that the dancer from Jack’s that he was so infatuated with couldn’t care less about him and it was a love con.
I winked “But probably your magic already told you all these things.”
He stared at me for a long while and then had his gross little homunculus-servant bring us some very mediocre tea and some very nice lemon cookies so we could have us a chat. A few hours later he asked me why I was telling him all this.
“Oh, I’m just the helpful type.”
I thanked him an excused myself back to Bee’s where my crew was set up in the store-room off the main common area. I helped myself to a bottle of ten year old brandy and ducked down behind the bar. A while later (I lost track of time a bit) I heard Grothrar and his buddies come in and start talking to the half-orcs about their organization and its many benefits – like racial motivated violence. I stood up behind the bar.
“Can I join? I’m a full blooded human, but I hate everyone so it kind of works.”
The four half-elves sprang to their feet while the half-orcs quietly made themselves scarce. I assume the one who spoke was Grotharar himself.
“Who the Hells are you?!”
“The other day you killed a couple folks. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things I suppose, people die every day. But these were MY people. If you were the honorable sort you’d send your friend away so they wouldn’t die also, but I suspect that you aren’t. What with your secret murder society and all.”
“You? What are you going to do?”
Right then my crew came out into the common room with their weapons drawn. “Good work guys, you really got the timing down on that one. Very dramatic.”
I chucked a wolverine into the fray from my Bag of Tricks and then ducked back behind the bar with my bottle. Sounded like quite a melee indeed. I’ve been involved in far too much violence lately. Sounded like Grotharar and his friend were able combatants but as my grandma always used to say two against one is monkey’s fun. Monkey’s Fun was the name of a low class establishment she worked in when she was younger you see. Anyway, ten against four is pretty hard odds. In the end all four half-elves were dead and I distributed my potions of healing to my wounded goons. Not that I’m getting sentimental about the hired help, but it’s good to show them that loyalty goes both ways.
After taking a few choice items for myself I gave the rest of the loot to the half-orcs – it was only for since they would get rid of the bodies and they had a lot of blood to clean up. Once it was all over we paid a late night visit to Grotharar’s second in command Bala Ged. Using my Skeleton Key we stole into his house unawares and dumped his floozy out of bed to the floor – nothing like making an entrance.
“Good news Bala Ged, Grotharar is dead, which makes you the leader of your little gang now. Congratulations!”
He stared at me in terror as the woman got up off the floor “Actually, I’m Bala Ged.”
“So sorry my dear, I just assumed the criminal gangboss would be a man.”
“That’s somewhat ironic don’t you think?”
“I don’t take your meaning.”
“Nevermind. So Grotharar is dead eh? Thanks for telling me I suppose, and why is it that you’re here?”
“I thought a little appreciation might be in order. You know, for the effort.”
“You want a reward of some kind for killing my boss?”
“Isn’t that what everyone dreams of?” I glanced at my crew “Not you guys of course, but people with bad bosses.”
We were able to make a deal. Grotharar had been stockpiling weapons for his envisioned uprising, weapons that Bala Ged didn’t have any use for – ergo they’d be coming back to Graltonton with me when we leave. A bit thin if you ask me, but as I’ve said many times people have no sense of gratitude anymore.
____________________________________________________________
Funds: 7,580 gold
XP: 44,738
Inventory: Ring of Many Garments, Bag of Tricks (rust), Cap of Disguise, Secure Pocket, Resplendent Diplomat’s Palette, Secure Paypack, Skeleton Key, Brooch of Shielding, Pouch of Magic Stones, Masterful Grey Gloves, Black Marketers’ Bag, Biting Bracelet (Endless Ammunition), Boots of Escape, Bracers of the Glib Entertainer, Ring of Animal Friendship, +1 Falchion, +1 Greatclub, +2 Commanding Light Crossbow, Headband of Alluring Charisma +2
Signet ring, noble’s outfit, candlerod (9), masterwork dagger, succubi carving, Domiel family ring, walking stick, masterwork playing cards, spinel and peridot holy symbol of Kralten, diamonds (14), silver crown
Potion of Invisibility (3), Potion of Spider Climb, Potion of Eagle’s Splendor
Silver ring, gold bracelet, gold and pearl pendant, gold ring, platinum necklace, mithril hair clasps (3)
Revenge List: Duke Eaglevane, Piltis Swine, Rince
Electrum, watchman Gridley, White-Muzzle the worg, Percy Ringle
the butler , Alice Kinsey , “Patch”, Heroes of the Lost Sword, Claire
Conrad, Erist priest of Strider, Riselda owner of the Sage Mirror,
Eedraxis, Skin-Taker tribe,
Kartak, Królewna & Bonifacja Trading Company, Hurmont Family, Androni
Titus, Greasy dreadlocks woman, Lodestone Security, Kellgale Nickoslander,
Beltian Kruin the Splithog Pauper, The King of Spiders, Auraluna Domiel, mother
Hurk, Mazzmus Parmalee
Rumors : Exiled noblewoman (Reoccurring), vigilante “Litheria”(Reoccurring), murderous Halfling (Reoccurring)
Teams – Labors, Brute Squad (Robbers and one team of Soldiers)
Graltontown Buildings – Mill
The Errant Endeavors of Ela the Expert 