Montresor 26, Year 887 (New Imperial Calendar)

A gardener at court once told me that exhaustion is the best sleep aid.  I saw him eating soil once.  I slept fitfully as I usually do when roughing it and when I woke up I swear I was more tired than when I fell asleep.  A dark mood came over them as I chewed up my tasteless rations and washed them down with tepid water.  What would I give right now for some dark Tavish coffee spiked with a little warm whiskey, tiramisu crepes, rich brioche casserole, strawberries & cream, and half a dozen mimosas.  I’ve been pining for a comfortable bed but maybe what I really miss the most is a chef.  That and everything else about my old life.  Well, not everything. 

The good news is I’ll have plenty of time to think about is as I trudge along like a peasant for hours and days on end.  That’s the key to a happy life – always find the silver lining.  There’s a bar called Silver Lining in Aroden that makes fantastic spiked cider.  I think that’s where Lord Calibere’s mistress was bludgeoned to death by a diseased sailor on shore leave.  Pretty sure. 

I tried to remember what Augrim told me one time about navigation – you take a stick and put it in the ground and then wait twenty minutes and the shadow moving means something.  The sun travels from east to west so the shadow would do the opposite?  So if you want to go north you should go at a right angle?  I’m not sure which bothers me more, me not remembering or the fact that he was so boring that I couldn’t pay attention to him.  Actually I am sure, it’s the second thing.  He also said something about getting two sticks to do something with the stars.  Woodsmen love sticks. 

A couple hours after setting out I realized that I was heading east again.  I’m starting to wonder if I should just head back to Peacock Orchid.  I this rate I could wander in circles out here until I starve to death.  And if I’m going to turn back I should do it sooner rather than later right?  Otherwise I probably won’t even be able to find my way back.  I should have been marking my trail somehow.  But how would you even?  It doesn’t seem quite right that I could die out here while some dirt-worshipping beastman would have no trouble.  Anyone that knows how to dig a proper latrine should be the one that dies – not me. 

I decided to keep going and after a few hours I spotted in the distance two bulls striding across the prairie like they owned the place.  I considered following them, thinking perhaps they could lead me to a rancher or the like but I didn’t see any markings on them and they could have just as easily been the flesh-eating cattle of Akerbeltz.  People laugh when they hear about man-eating cows, they shouldn’t.  I saw them at court once in an obscene twist on bull-baiting.  It was horrific.  There’s something imminently more disturbing about a mundane creature twisted into flesh-madness than the most ravenous tiger or bulette – those things are supposed to try and kill you so it makes sense.

I doubt I could have stayed with them anyway.  I was trying to be more vigilant today but my boredom got the better of me and my thoughts began to wander.  It was bad enough that when I saw a small copse I headed for it essentially for no reason.  I would say it took me several hours out of my way but that would imply that I knew where I was going.  I could come up with no plausible reason to search the trees but I did it anyway just for something to do.  I’m starting to understand why people out these ways are so addlepated, the boredom rots their brains.

After a while I found a goat-mask and a spiked whip.  Nothing at all ominous or foreboding about that right?  I conjured up all manner of scenarios about what had happened here.  At one point I convinced myself that I had found a bloodstain as well but it was just a patch of dirt.  I know that now.  By the time I was done fiddling around the sun was going down – behind me again.  I had been traveling east.  Again.  A little part of me felt like crying, but mostly I just stood there numbly and watched the sun go down.  It was very pretty.  It reminded me of this time that a fellow from court, down on his luck, had sunk his family’s last bit of money into a merchant trip oversees – a make or break deal.  We all went down to the docks to see the ship off and a hour after it set out we all saw it burst into flames.  He didn’t scream or curse or weep or do anything – he just stood there and watched it burn down to the waterline.

The arsonist who set that up loved fire-brandy.  Which is a bit on the nose if you ask me.

____________________________________________________________

Funds: 9,863 gold

XP: 54,203

Inventory: Ring of Many Garments, Bag of Tricks (rust), Cap of Disguise, Secure Pocket, Resplendent Diplomat’s Palette, Secure Paypack, Skeleton Key, Brooch of Shielding, Pouch of Magic Stones, Masterful Grey Gloves, Black Marketers’ Bag, Biting Bracelet (Endless Ammunition), Boots of Escape, Bracers of the Glib Entertainer, Ring of Animal Friendship, +1 Falchion, +1 Greatclub, +2 Commanding Light Crossbow, Headband of Alluring Charisma +2, 4 potions of unknown wickedness, Manual of Quickness of Action, Bracer of Fire Resistance (10), Spear of Piercing Thunder

Signet ring, noble’s outfit, candlerod (9), masterwork dagger, succubi carving, Domiel family ring, walking stick, masterwork playing cards, spinel and peridot holy symbol of Kralten, diamonds (14), silver crown, waterskins (10), trail rations (10)

Potion of Invisibility (3), Potion of Spider Climb, Potion of Eagle’s Splendor, Potion of Jump, Potion of Reduce Person 

Silver ring, gold bracelet, gold and pearl pendant, gold ring, platinum necklace (2), mithril hair clasps (3), 4 small diamonds

Revenge List: Duke Eaglevane, Piltis Swine, Rince Electrum, watchman Gridley, White-Muzzle the worg, Percy Ringle the butler , Alice Kinsey , “Patch”, Heroes of the Lost Sword, Claire Conrad, Erist priest of Strider, Riselda owner of the Sage Mirror, Eedraxis,  Skin-Taker tribe, Kartak, Królewna & Bonifacja Trading Company, Hurmont Family, Androni Titus, Greasy dreadlocks woman, Lodestone Security, Kellgale Nickoslander, Beltian Kruin the Splithog Pauper, The King of Spiders, Auraluna Domiel, mother Hurk, Mazzmus Parmalee,  Helgan van Tankerstrum, Lightdancer, Bonder Greysmith, Pegwhistle Proudfoot, Lumbfoot Sheepskin

Rumors : Exiled noblewoman (Reoccurring), vigilante “Litheria”(Reoccurring), murderous Halfling (Reoccurring)

Graltontown Buildings – Mill 

Behind the curtain – Ela was actually on target for three whole hours today.  I may need to start fudging the random encounters if this keeps up just to get something going.  According to the rules you wouldn’t figure out you were going the wrong way until you made the Survival check but logically once the sun is going down you’d have to figure it out right?