The magic ring that I picked up is definitely one of the better acquisitions I’ve made. Not having to worry about food and water or sleep has made everything significantly more bearable. But it comes with a strange side effect. As you all know drinking to excess isn’t something I normally indulge in but every now and then it’s obligatory. Where things get strange though is when you don’t need to sleep you experience the phenomena of being drunk turning into a hangover, which is not something we were meant to feel I don’t think. Normally you get drunk, pass out, and when you wake up you have a splitting headache and wish you were dead – you don’t feel the transition. But last night I felt it. It’s really quite something. I wouldn’t recommend it personally. Although I must have fallen asleep at some point because I had a nightmare about the brothers being wereotters and gnawing off my arms and legs in the night. Otters look cute but they’re predators you know. There’s probably a lesson in there somewhere.
All of the brothers had a variety of tattoos of various levels of quality, even the runty one, but today I noticed the middle brother – you know the one Martialla hooked up with – who they call Silver, touch one of his tattoos and summon up some magic to move the raft back towards the middle of the river when it looked like we were going to get hung up some debris near the bank.
“That’s a neat little trick.”
“It comes in handy from time to time.”
“If you didn’t mind me asking where did you happen to pick up enchanted body art?”
“There’s a gal in Eronigh, she’s like a mystic or fortune teller, something like that. Don’t know exactly where she’s hails, she doesn’t look she’s from the Kingdom to me. She’s a bit out there, you know in the head, but she does good work.”
“I’ve been thinking about picking up something like that.”
“You don’t seem like the type.”
“I’m not but I seem to keep running afoul of people that want to snatch me off the street and take all my stuff – it’s nice to have a hidden surprise for them. What kind of prices does this gal look for? Is she reasonable or does she really try to give you the old screw job?”
“I don’t think she charges, she didn’t charge me anyway, and I’ve heard that’s not really her game.”
“She’s giving away free magic tattoos?”
“Not exactly, she gave me this because we helped her out once – she says that she only gives them to people that are part of some cosmic plan that she can see pieces of. I’ve definitely seen her turn down money and refuse to ink someone who didn’t fit in with whatever strings of fate or destiny she thinks she can see.”
“Wonderful. What’s her name?”
“How did you know that?”
“How did I know what?”
“I asked you her name.”
After several moments of that horrible comedy routing I figured it out. Turns out that the name of the broad IS Wonderful. Or at least that’s what people call her. I’ve heard some stupid nicknames in my life but this one is beyond the pale. Pine was telling us an amusing anecdote/tall tale about the terrible curse that befalls anyone who eats the salmon out of a certain stream when our relaxing float down the river was interrupted. Ahead of us a downed cottonwood tree had resulted in a smaller boat capsizing, which then either by negligence or jerkassery another boat had slammed into causing more of a snarl – and then a third boat got caught in the mix. There were a variety of people on the boats and on the shore and even some in the water all shouting over one another and making various anatomically impossible threats.
The brothers guided their keelboat over to the shore and through a combination of my legendary tactful diplomacy, Martialla’s mind-influencing magic, and Silver’s auctioneer’s like patter we were able to calm everyone down and get them working together to untangle all the boats and haul the dead tree out of the river. But even with all the river trash and watery ruffians working together getting the path clear took several hours, by which point it was getting dark anyway and everyone took to the shore for the night. Everyone was still surly and holding on to hurt feelings until the brothers rolled out a couple of their barrels of moonshine – that loosened things up considerably. The night took a turn for the festive. I favored everyone with a few songs, Martialla entertained with some illusions, a couple fellows had a friendly boxing match, there was the telling of tales, friendly insults and outrageous claims about prowesses, sexual and otherwise. All in all it was a good old time, if you’re in to that sort of low down countrified entertainment. Late in the evening Martialla and I sat some distance removed watching a couple fellow dancing around the fire making fools of themselves and loving every moment of it.
“I’d make fun but I’m not the best dancer myself.”
“Isn’t that required of proper young ladies at court?”
“Of course, but that wasn’t what I was.”
“It’s nice to be reminded that there is good in the world.”
“Yes, which is why we won’t talk about the fact that if we hadn’t come along to smooth things over these people who are making merry with each other would have been stabbing each other to death over a few boats getting tangled up.”
“Yes, we won’t mention that at all. Because people can be decent if you give them half a chance and it’s good to remember that.”
“Three quarters chance maybe.”
“Three quarters maybe.”
Hair regrowth progress : .081%
Funds: 1817 platinum, 70,829 gold
Inventory: Wig of Alluring Charisma +4, Enchanted White Pathfinder’s Gear (effects as Iadaran Dress Uniform) Animal Totem Tattoo (Lion), Belt of Physical Might +4, Versatile Vest, Ring of Sustenance, Campfire Bead, Expedition Pavilion, +1 Human Bane Endless Ammunition Light Crossbow, Deck of Curses (two cards used), Ring of Urban Grace, +1 Human Bane Dagger, Bewitching Gown, Holy Symbol of Adariel (Sanguine Protection) Ela’s Walking Stick (Rod of Ruin/Agile Alpenstock) Bag of Concealment, Bag of Holding, Black Marketers’ Bag, Handy Haversack, white squirrel fur Slippers of Scampering, Knave’s Robes +4, Nymph’s Favor
Pocketed Scarf, wrist sheath, assortment of Fake Signet Rings, silver chain set with moonstones, gold and emerald ring (2), 842 garnets, severed hag head, gold necklace with jade pendant, ivory combs, receipt, tax collector’s badge, Gold bracelet with ivory inlays, silver necklace set with rubies, gold earrings with jade inlays, 5 gold trade bars, 3 diamond in amber coins, silver and gold brooch, silver necklace with ruby pendant, glass vials of something awful (8)
Revenge List: Duke Eaglevane,
Piltis Swine, Rince Electrum, watchman Gridley, White-Muzzle the worg, Percy Ringle the butler, Alice Kinsey , “ Patch”, Heroes of the Lost Sword, Claire Conrad, Erist priest of Strider, Riselda owner of the Sage Mirror, Eedraxis, Skin-Taker tribe, Kartak, Królewna & Bonifacja Trading Company, Hurmont Family, Androni Titus, Greasy dreadlocks woman, Lodestone Security, Kellgale Nickoslander, Beltian Kruin the Splithog Pauper, The King of Spiders, Auraluna Domiel, mother Hurk, Mazzmus Parmalee, Helgan van Tankerstrum, Lightdancer, Bonder Greysmith, Pegwhistle Proudfoot, Lumbfoot Sheepskin, Lumber Consortium of Three Rivers, Hellerhad the Wizard, Forsaken Kin, Law Offices of Office of Glilcus and Stolo, Jey Rora, Colonel Tarl Ciarán