I’m starting to wonder if turning myself in to the authorities was the best idea. It would have been easy to sneak out of town under the protection of Lord Oeracea and gone along my merry way. That wouldn’t have solved anything, the damnable church of Vultur would still be after me, but there’s no guarantee that this will resolve anything either. I don’t even know what’s going on out there – they’re deciding my fate without me like I’m a poor person! I made the assumption that would be able to maneuver my way out of this but that’s going to be hard from inside this tower.
Being trapped here is probably part of what’s making me so anxious. Over the past year I’ve gotten accustomed to be on the move more or less constantly. Now that I’m stuck in this tower all day it’s making me antsy. It’s funny because for years before what happened happened I was essentially in the same place all the time at the Duke’s court. I traveled with him once in a while but it’s considered bad form to to take your mistress with you when you’re touring the countryside. Once this is all over and the Duke is dead and burning in the Pit it will be interesting to see if I settle down like in the old days or if this wanderlust is going to stick. I look forward to finding out.
The guards took me down to be “questioned” by the Vulturian’s yet again, but I wasn’t in the mood to play games with them so I don’t say much and they gave up suspiciously quickly. I wish I knew what they were trying to do or get me to say. I did kill Elias, I’m not saying that I didn’t, so I don’t understand what they’re trying to accomplish with these questions. Maybe there is no agenda on their part, maybe it’s just habit. I’d also like to know what Law Offices of Office of Glilcus and Stolo has (have?) against me. I suppose likely someone just hired them as a third party to put the hit out on me. I wonder who’d have that much money and hate me that much. The Colonel is the only one I can think of and this all started before I had the pleasure of making his acquaintance. The Lumber Consortium has the resources but do they hate me that much? A year ago if you had laid a wager on the Duke’s consort being on the hit list of a commodities company you’d have made a tidy sum for sure.
I wonder what the Duke is up to right now while I rot in this tower. Something foolish probably, the man is a twat. All the dukes I’ve met have been pretty twatty. I suppose it goes with the title. When you’re second in power only to the monarchy (and more powerful some would claim) you’re most likely going to be a twat. It’s probably inevitable, not that I suppose many people try to fight against it anyway – getting to be a twat without having to worry about the consequences is why you try to become a Duke in the first place.
Counts seem to be where you can find some decent people. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve met plenty of shit Counts as well, but that seems to be the level of the noble ranks where you can find some actual nobility. It makes sense, Dukes are too high in the power structure and Barons are too low, but a Count has enough power not to feel like they need to ruin people just to show they can but not so much power that they’ve lost all ability to relate to human life. It’s the same in the military – generals and the senior people are assholes, and so are lieutenants, but captains can be reasonable people.
I realized for the first time that the Duke has probably gotten a new consort. I hate to admit it but that gave me the tiniest twinge of jealousy. Which makes absolutely no sense since I am going to flay the man alive in the near future. Can you explain that feeling? I can’t. I wonder what she’s like. I wonder how she’s going to feel when I break her meal ticket like the dog he is and take over the court. Probably that will rub her the wrong way – as the Duke himself is surely doing. Wouldn’t it be something if she wanted revenge on me for killing the Duke? What a twist of fate that would be.
I wonder what the Duke’s reaction was when he found out that his wife had drugged his favorite toy and left her for dead in Graltontown. I’m sure he was mildly annoyed and they maybe sniped at each other a little bit about it over dinner that night and that was the end of it. He probably started looking for a replacement the next day. I wonder also what it was that finally make the Duchess grow a pair and come after me? Was it something I did? Something he did? Nothing at all? You never know what can set off a rich person, they have a kind of vanity and pride that we can’t understand – you have to be born into power to indulge whims the way they do. It’s almost like they’re an entirely different species.
As I was contemplating these topics I could tell by the very small very high window that the sun had gone down and the moon and come up. In and of itself this isn’t a terrible interesting phenomenon, but at that very moment a ghostly figure in a grey suit walked out of the wall and started across the chamber. This should liven things up.
“Hey, what’s your deal?”
Have you ever seen a ghost look surprised? I have now. It almost looked like he stumbled. What does that even mean? How can a ghost stumble? Aren’t they just floating even when they look like they’re walking? There’s a lot about ghosts that doesn’t make a lick of sense. His voice was faint and, well, ghostly.
“Are you talking to me?”
“Aren’t you afraid?”
“No, I’ve met a few ghosts, they’re generally good people, death gives people a certain measure of perspective that the living don’t often acheive. I don’t know what kind of folks you’re used to dealing with but I am no ghost racist.”
“Don’t worry about it. So what haunts you to these parts? Or what brings you to these haunts maybe? However you say it, why are you here? Were you imprisoned in this tower and then some evil lord had you poisoned? Or stabbed while you were at morning prayers?”
“I was imprisoned here but I just choked on a piece of fish.”
“That’s a pretty lame way to die. Why were you imprisoned?”
“My father decided that my sister marrying Duke von Borlinden made her son the rightful heir the throne.”
“How did that result in you being imprisoned?”
“I guess I was pretty into it too. We had an army and the king had an army and some other people had armies, it turned into quite dust up. I was captured after a battle that my army lost and they brought me here for two and a half years before I choked to death.”
“Was it at least a tasty piece of fish?”
“That sucks. So now you just wander around this tower? Can you be put to rest? I’ve done that a couple times for ghosts, it’s kind of satisfying.”
“I don’t think I would want to be put to rest.”
“Why not, this tower doesn’t seem too great of a place to haunt. I mean if you were haunting a brothel or something I could see wanting to stick around, or a good theater maybe, but this place is boring as shit.”
“I think if I were to pass on to the next realm I would probably be in the Thirteen Hells.”
“I was pretty into cutting up my maids.”
“Oh, I suppose this is your best bet then. Why did you find that so appealing? Was it the blood or the screaming or the feeling of power or what did it for you about that?”
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. It was a substitute for sex is my theory. I wasn’t finding many women who were interested in what I had to offer so I think I was using my knife as a replacement urge of sorts.”
“Were there no whores around? They’re usually pretty good at seeming interested.”
“Whoring is immoral.”
“And murdering women in cold blood for personal amusement isn’t?”
“I didn’t kill any of them, I just cut them and put scars on their faces – that way every time I saw them I could feel a little bit of that feeling I got when I took the blade to them.”
“That’s pretty fucked up.”
“Yeah, so Thirteen Hells. I feel bad about it now, but I don’t know as that that matters. Although they’re all long dead too so did any of it matter? That’s the worst thing about being a ghost, I don’t think people were meant to see this much time go past. After a few centuries you start to wonder if anything you did matters, and if it didn’t what was the point of being alive at all?”
“How long ago was all this?”
“I died in 1287.”
“By what calendar?”
“Are there different ones?”
With nothing else to do I talked to the ghost cutter long into the night. He wasn’t such a bad fellow. You know, for an undead psychosexual sadist.
Hair regrowth progress : .1005%
Inventory: Animal Totem Tattoo (Lion), Enchanted Tattoo (Storm)
Revenge List: Duke Eaglevane,
Piltis Swine, Rince Electrum, watchman Gridley, White-Muzzle the worg, Percy Ringle the butler, Alice Kinsey , “ Patch”, Heroes of the Lost Sword, Claire Conrad, Erist priest of Strider, Riselda owner of the Sage Mirror, Eedraxis, Skin-Taker tribe, Kartak, Królewna & Bonifacja Trading Company, Hurmont Family, Androni Titus, Greasy dreadlocks woman, Lodestone Security, Kellgale Nickoslander, Beltian Kruin the Splithog Pauper, The King of Spiders, Auraluna Domiel, mother Hurk, Mazzmus Parmalee, Helgan van Tankerstrum, Lightdancer, Bonder Greysmith, Pegwhistle Proudfoot, Lumbfoot Sheepskin, Lumber Consortium of Three Rivers, Hellerhad the Wizard, Forsaken Kin, Law Offices of Office of Glilcus and Stolo, Jey Rora, Colonel Tarl Ciarán