One time there was this movie called Adventures in Babysitting, the 1987 one I mean, I think they did a remake and I don’t mean that one. In the movie Adventures in Babysitting, Brenda, played by esteemed character actress Penelope Anne Miller, tries to buy a hot dog from a hot dog cart guy by signing over a third-party check to him. It is the greatest scene in movie history.
When I was a kid I loved that movie for a variety of reasons, chief among them because one of the kids being babysat was a girl that liked the Mighty Thor and I didn’t know until then that girls could like comic books. It was a revelation it was. I found out later that not many girls like comic books but some of them do.
It’s the first movie Elizabeth Shue was in, and the first PG-13 rated Disney movie. There’s a lot of history there. I know what you’re thinking “wasn’t esteemed character actress Penelope Anne Miller briefly married to Will Arnett?” Yes, yes she was. And you’re probably also wondering why Will Arnett and Amy Poehler got divorced. Sometimes people just fall out of love. Yes, Canadians are allowed to get divorced, I was surprised too.
“Jeremy was esteemed character actress Penelope Anne Miller the lead in the movie the Relic? You know, the lead character that got licked up and down by the titular Relic, which was a cabinet monkey lizard monster?”
Yes she was, it wasn’t one of her more esteemed character roles. But she got paid 1.5 million dollars for doing it. Invested at a 7 percent rate of return, which is generous I admit, that’s 7.6 million dollars today. A lizard licked me once and I didn’t get a red cent.
“Jeremy why do you keeping spelling Ann with an E, isn’t that incorrect?”
Yes it is.
“Jeremy why wasn’t the Relic a better movie?”
Well, it’s not like the source material was super strong you know? And even if it was, the underlying message about museums and their negative role in society and the scientific community isn’t going to be easy to communicate in a movie. Plus, 1997 was smack dab in the middle of the wonky CGI era so the creature didn’t look great. I wonder if they used a practical effect tongue for the licking scene. I wonder further what esteemed character actress Penelope Anne Miller would say about how you drop in to a scene where you’re getting licked by a cabinet lizard monkey monster. I’ll ask her at the next family reunion.
Dropping-in is a technique Tina and Kristin Linklater developed in the early 1970s as a method to create a spontaneous emotional connection to your role.
I thought this post about plot holes was pretty good, check it out if you want. One time I “promoted” a post I thought was neat and the guy that wrote it took the time to message me and tell me that he has 20,000 followers and he doesn’t need me to help him. I cried for three weeks. Not because of that, because of the shark hormones I take. And to be clear, no sharks are being killed to harvest these hormones, they’re taken from humans with shark DNA spliced in. Which is fine.
There are probably lots of plot holes in Ela’s narrative because the spine of it is random RPG tables and I don’t have an outline or anything guiding the tale. There are probably even more unresolved plots. My other blog is even worse and I don’t even have the excuse of RPG nonsense on that one. The other day someone said to me “Why don’t you stop this solo campaign bullshit and do some real writing?” and I says to them I says “I don’t have the creativity for that” and then they reminded me of that other blog and that shut me up. I had forgotten about it. How did I forget a blog that I post on three times a week and write for almost every day? Dunno. But I did.
For D&D Ela I was content to let the dice dictate everything, hence her sudden and unceremonious death. For comic book Ela I’ve been more flexible, but I’m at a real crossroads now. Not to give anything away but decisions need to be made. Dice or free will?
I can’t remember if I blogged about this, possibly blogged about it twice, or if I just thought about it and blogged about it no times, but now that I’m back in the swing of TTRPGs I’ve been thinking about running a campaign again. And what I’ve been thinking is that I don’t know if I will. I have a lot of desire but more and more I find it a stumbling block that my game friends all like games but they don’t really like the same thing.
I’ll start planning a modern investigative spooky campaign and then remember that no one likes that but me. Then I’ll start working on a cyberpunk intrigue-based campaign and then I’ll remember that no one likes that but me. So then I’ll think about the kind of campaigns they like and I groan because it’s all stuff I don’t like. My gaming circle is hilariously mismatched like sitcom roommates.
And I know that it doesn’t really matter, we’ll all get together and have a fun time no matter what, but it’s hard to want to spend a lot of time on shit when you’re the only one who’s really into it.
There’s a scene in Adventures in Babysitting where Brenda, played by esteemed character actress Penelope Anne Miller, loses her glasses and thinks that a giant rat is a fluffy kitty and tries to pet it. When I was younger, one time when I didn’t have my glasses on, I thought a baseball cap was our cat TJ. I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t come to me because she was super friendly. It was because she was a baseball cap in that scenario. And they’re not known for being overly personable.
Now my eyes are great because I had the laser eyeball surgery. Also, not for nothing, but I have fantastic knees. Maybe the best knees in the world. There’s no way to know for sure.
The movie Adventures in Babysitting was released with the title A Night On The Town in other countries. Does that mean babysitting isn’t a thing in other countries? Or do they call it something else? Must be the first thing otherwise they would have called it Adventures in BLANK right? I wonder what that says about American child rearing. I know the movie Date Night was called Crazy Night in many other countries because date night is an American concept. I wonder what that means about Americans and our relationships.
Writing tip of the day – When writing a female character, make sure that in the middle of a scene apropos of nothing you have her start thinking about when she first started “developing”. That’s totally cool. Remember that scene in Die Hard when in the middle of a firefight, Bruce Willis starts talking about how he got hair on his balls? You need to apply that same level of care to female characters.