I just mowed the lawn and a rabbit just sat there in the grass staring at me. Even when I came at it with the mower it wouldn’t move. It did eventually run away but it was like it knew. Like it was saying “You can’t even handle a mouse. I’m a hundred times bigger than a mouse. You can’t do shit to me.”
I’ve lost the respect of the animal kingdom. Soon voles will be slapping me around and taking my lunch money. I need to break bad with the animals to get back some respect. Maybe I should move to Japan and join a whaling crew.
Remember that episode of the X-Files where the guy who speaks German for no reason and is giving women lobotomies with an ice pick screams at a captive Scully (actually the demons he thinks are controlling her) “I AM ON TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!” It was like that.
I rewatched the X-Files fairly recently I had forgotten how many episodes were Scully gets kidnapped and Mulder has to save her.
Remember on the Simpsons when Art Spiegelman put on a mask to fight crime and boldly declared “Maus is in the house!” I do.
Remember the episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia where the gang (minus Charlie) is trying to catch a rat but instead they end up huffing gas and watching Tom and Jerry cartoons? I do. Sometimes in Tom and Jerry they would bring in a dog character to abuse Jerry as well. I wonder what its name was.
Last week when I was doing some yard work a mouse sneaked in the back door. I put out some humane traps which appear to be useless. Friday I built a bucket trap and twice now the mouse has triggered it without falling in the bucket. Either it’s a very acrobatic mouse or I need a wider bucket.
Friday morning I saw it peeking at me from behind the bookcase. Which would have been cute if I didn’t hate it. Which I do.
My old blog had about a thousand followers. And a lot of them actually read it (sometimes). If I asked them for mouse advice there would have been a lot of it and most of it would have been annoying. Is it mansplaining when it’s two men or is that only man on woman action? Must be the latter because otherwise that’s just being a jerkstore right?
I suppose when you’re giving advice, you have to assume the person you’re talking to is an idiot.
Case and point I saw some reviews where people were giving 1-star ratings of a mousetrap and they’d post a video to show how crappy it was and instead they weren’t using it right – of course the mouse walked right out, you had the top open GGGyellow856! How did you think it was going to do anything like that? It was a good reminder that product reviews are largely pointless (like humane traps).
I’m not asking for advice now either but I shouldn’t say to myself that it’s because no one reads this blog because a couple people do read it. Thanks couple people. There’s a new episode of Heels tonight. I’m excited about that. Maybe the mouse and I can watch it together while it gives me the hanta virus.
PS – It is a mouse and not rat, that’s just a “funny” title. If there was a rat in here I’d burn the house to the ground.