Ela Halloween Special #13

As the last of the interns is overwhelmed by the unending rolling waves, Martialla, Ela, Duke, Eric Callahan (channel 14 news PA) and Susan Krotz hustle it up to the roof and make a dash to the helipad of the famous channel 14 news chopper – chopper 14.  Not the worst plan in the world but what they see when they run out onto the windy rooftop is the mangled wreck of metal and zombies that used to be a glorious helicopter.  They slowly come to a halt and stare in silence at the tangled mess.  It’s like when you’re driving home and you have to pee really bad and when you get home and rush to the bathroom, not only is the bathroom gone but someone also runs up and kicks you in the groin.  And then they run back and stomp on it again while you’re on the ground.

Eric drinks the last of sip of his coffee and tosses the cup away “Looks like someone already tried to get away in the helicopter and zombies got caught up in the propeller.”

Ela’s voice is flat “Planes have propellers, at least they used to, helicopters have rotors I think they’re called.  And you shouldn’t be littering just because the city is being destroyed.  Pick that cup up, you pig.”

Duke starts to say something but stops and then halfway laughs as Ela comes over and grabs him by the arm “Hey, I know there’s always been some sexual tension between us, lady, but this isn’t really the time or place. Oh ,what the hell, I guess now is as good a time as any.  You want to get in on this, channel fourteen newscaster Susan Krotz?

Martialla cocks her head “What are you doing?”

Ela is dragging Duke towards the side of the building “Oh nothing, I’m just going to throw this piece of garbage over the side.  I want to make sure he dies before I do.”

Duke wriggles away from her without too much trouble “You’re a feisty one aren’t you?”

Martialla comes over and casually shoves Duke over the side to his screaming death “So what are we going to do now?”

Ela thinks for a moment “Isn’t there a place out by the airport that takes tourists out over the Gulf in a helicopter for whale watching or dolphins or voyeurism or something?”

So they set off once more, this time for the general area of the airport, which of course is on the opposite side of town entirely.   Miraculously they’re able to avoid any further zombie encounters – until they reach the helipad anyway. Our two remaining originals and new newbs are crouched behind some bushes looking at the shiny not-wrecked helicopter with “Ocean Adventures” stenciled on the side.  A handsome blue and white number, state of the art, top of the line, that happened to be surrounded by a solid twenty zombies, all standing there stock still.

Ela narrows her eyes “It’s like they’re guarding it.”

Martialla shakes her head slowly “How is that possible?”

Ela shrugs “Zombie master? What do they call those?  Necbromancers?  Who cares?  How are we going to get past them?”

Eric stands up “I’ll lead them away.”

Before anyone else can react he’s gone, he runs right up to the zombies, shoving one of them down and then turning and taking off into the night. The entire herd all go merrily after him, groaning loudly and moving fast.  You know, for zombies, so not fast really.  The three women watch the zombies chasing Eric for a while and then head for the chopper. Martialla takes a seat and starts pushing all manner of buttons and flipping switches and toggling toggles as Susan takes the seat beside her. Ela has her hand on the frame and her foot on the landing gear, but she’s not inside yet.

“We should at least wait to see if he can double back or something. Nevermind, he’s dead now, let’s get this bird in the air.”

Ela steps inside as Martialla starts it up but before they can get off the ground, another wave of zombies crashes over them as fast as their zombie legs can hurry them. They’re only inches off the ground when the zombies slam into the chopper and start grasping at it mindlessly.  The helicopter struggles with the extra weight and lurches forward erratically.  Have you ever seen a helicopter off center and right by the ground?  It’s terrifying. 

Martialla screams to be heard over the noise “We’re too heavy, you have to get them off!”

Ela stump-kicks open the door, but despite her best efforts she can’t knock them off with her blows.   They are zombies after all, they don’t care if you stomp on their hands or punch them in the face.  The chopper skids forward only feet off the ground as Ela manages to send one of them crashing to the ground by firing a signal flare in its mouth, but the rest are still hanging on tenaciously. Ela knows what she has to do – she grabs Susan by her mane of perfectly coiffed blonde TV lady hair and drags her kicking and screaming over the seat into the back. She shoves her out the side and dangles her for the zombies to latch on, eager for something to munch on.  Once they’ve all taken the bait, Ela lets Susan fall with the zombies clamped onto her like lampreys.

Martialla can’t be heard over the roar of the copter “Jesus Christ, Ela.”

Without the extra zombie-weight hanging on the chopper, they’re able to get some air.  Not much air though as Martialla promptly flies them directly into a big tree.  A BIG big tree.  It’s dark you know and it’s not like helicopters have headlights.  As she and Ela lie in the wreckage, broken, bloody and near death, the zombies are closing in.

Martialla coughs up blood onto the jagged metal bar through her chest “I may be a little rusty flying a helicopter.”

Ela’s body is twisted in such a way that her spine is obviously broken “I hate you, Martialla.”

Martialla reaches out and takes Ela’s hand in hers as ravenous zombies start climbing into the wreckage “I know you do Ela.  I know you do.”