Note for anyone who doesn’t know, whistlepig is another term for groundhog.
Groundhog’s Day is easily the worst holiday. It’s the beginning of February, of course there’s going to be 6 more weeks of winter. It’s winter! Also even though I really like Bill Murray, I never got the fuss about the movie Groundhog Day. I found it boring.
However. Today it was brought to my attention that Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog they drag out of the ground for this festival, is 136 years old. Which if you’re not aware is 130 years longer than a whistlepig normally lives.
That’s as may be you say?
Check out this shit from groundhog DOT org – “Punxsutawney Phil gets his longevity from drinking the “elixir of life,” a secret recipe. Phil takes one sip every summer at the Groundhog Picnic and it magically gives him seven more years of life.”
First of all if he drinks every year and gets 7 more years of life each time, that means he’s banked 956 years of life. Why are they still giving it to him every year?!
Secondly someone needs to steal this elixir. I don’t care if it only works on whistlepigs, the knowledge needs to be shared. I may write a story about the great whistlepig elixir theft but I’m probably too lazy. Do people like writing prompts? If so this is one. If not it’s not. I don’t want you to think I’m not cool by talking about writing prompts if you don’t like them.